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Deviant for 6 Years
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Always and Always
Always and Always
Mmmmm, mmm, mmmmmm, mm, mmmmmmm
I can still hear your voice as you shattered my everything
Mmmmm, mmm, mmmm
'I'll always love you,
always and always,
I'll be with you'

A part of my world died the last day you sang to me
For you sang it nice and slow, just above a whisper on your breath
And in a slow sigh, you said to me, 'Remember me...'
'In twenty years from now, remember me
On your wedding day, won't you remember me?
For your birthday and each holiday,
I'll grant your every wish
Always and always'

I only ever had one wish...
But your skin was sallow and your lips cold as you kissed my cheek
Then you closed your eyes and laid back down
Squeezed my hand and your voice cracked as you continued on
'You're a good girl, you'll grow up strong'
If I was good, then why do you have to go?
You looked at me one more time and your beautiful eyes sang
'I'll always love you,
always and always,
I'll be with you'

:iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 1 0
One of those nights
One of those nights
It's one of those nights
Where I'm buried deep under the covers
With all the lights turned on bright
And all the doors opened wide
So I can see outside
The heat's down low
And the moon's shining in through my window
Still, I can't feel my nose or even my toes
'cause I've gone numb
And the cold's seepin' in through all my bones
The nightmares feel so real
And dawn seems so surreal
Shadows veil every color in my vision
And the echoes of all my hollow screams are all I can hear
It's one of those nights
(those nights)
One of those nights...
Tonight's one of those nights
I'd rather be awake
And feeling not quite so bared and scared
With the day outside
And all this dark tucked away
But it's one of those nights
And I'm all alone (all alone)
The sky's as dark as the memories I carry around ('round)
And all the black thoughts that keep me bound (bound)
Oooh, it's one of those nights alright
Even when sleep's been long forgott
:iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 1 4
Original Image by ArzanianJoy Original Image :iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 1 0 Roleplay Movement Avatar by ArzanianJoy Roleplay Movement Avatar :iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 1 0
Outsider-Insider: Phoenix Song
Phoenix Song
May 9th; approx. 16 years old
Five feet, eleven inches; One hundred thirty-five pounds
With a tall stature for a female, Phoenix is slender with the impression of a confident but easily looked over shadow. Her body is well developed with lean muscles shifting barely noticeable under her skin and a faint image of a six pack though not firmly defined. Due to daily walks and her love for sunbathing, Phoenix’s skin is a wonderful shade of sun-kissed tan, a soft golden brown stretched evenly over every inch of her body. Her long hair originally started as a dirty blond but the sun bleached it into a rich gold, waves upon waves of shimmering golden threads. Her eyes are an interesting mix of chocolate brown, inherited from her father, and mercury silver, from her mother, making for an unusual experience upon seeing her eyes for the
:iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 2 0
Roleplay Movement's Favicon by ArzanianJoy Roleplay Movement's Favicon :iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 0 8 Connor by ArzanianJoy Connor :iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 3 0 Joy by ArzanianJoy Joy :iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 2 3
It pulls me over by the arm,
holds my hand with a burning touch,
hands me a torch with which to light the world,
reaches the ends of my life,
and it drags my hopes under it's eternal flame.
The end, it is coming, my darling,
someday soon, the fire will consume the forests,
very soon it will rip our hearts out of our chests,
one day it will bring our fears to life,
and one day it will drive us to the brink of insanity.
Reach for me
and watch as I fade from your sight,
deep into the everlasting night
in the pit of forgotten wallows.
Dream about me
and watch as I writhe and twist on the floor,
my screams echoing along the walls
as if I've lost my mind.
Hold me
and feel as my skin melts into putty,
falling like snow,
entering my netherworld.
Breathe me
and energize yourself,
my world became yours,
my pain now belongs to you.
Watch yourself from a cloud high above
as you dive under sea
with a never ceasing fire engulfing your body,
your skin turning to ash as you exhale the very life you we
:iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 2 10
Amun Ali
Name: Amun Ali
Age: 54 lunar cycles (about four years and five months)
Gender: Male
Height: 2'3"
Weight: 25lbs
Hair Color and Style: Short white hair that is messy and often made black with a thick black dust.
Eye Color: Red.
Nationality: Egyptian.
Cloths: He wears Ancient Egyptian clothing. A white shenti under a cloak like shirt that wraps around his neck and covers his entire body. A pair of golden sandals complete the look.
Items: Two thick golden armbands, one on each arm and a thin silver armband on each arm. A golden anklet on each foot.
Personality: He's very shy and timid. He hides a lot and can't help but not hide behind something due to his history (I will try to complete the little history I know for him below).
History: He was kidnapped as a baby by a man that went by Amen. He also kidnapped a fifteen year old girl, Amenset. Amen forced him to steal for them and then beat him constantly even if he did something right. Amenset often tried to keep his anger directed towards
:iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 2 0
My darling
You are...
they mean nothing
in your name.
You are...
Not a mar
Not an imperfection
All of you...
Makes me want-
Want to draw-
to draw you.
Driven forces
pull me away
from within...
Within me.
But you see...
I'm not that-
that sweet-
that kind-
that warm hearted.
Simply an artist.
My name-
-is structure.
My love means-
-desires met
-worlds apart.
But, hear me.
Here when-
when I say
I'm loving you.
Every tad bit-
of you.
Don't hold yourself-
so fashioned.
I'm silent.
I can't deny.
I'm long lost.
I can't change.
My heart beats-
to a sound-
a sound unheard.
That sound,
that sound is-
Can you listen?
You are my-
-house guest
I'm unemotional.
So this is-
best forgotten.
Someday, I'll die.
And that will
leave you best.
:iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 1 0
Sun filled scatter winds of selfishness
The heavens rose just a little further.
Skies bore a royal blue at night
and a richer red at sunrise.
The clouds dove a little closer.
Puffy blue rose from the oceans in waves of crystal
fragments which hold my heart.
My heart opened to the view
from the top of my little mountain
called my selfish wants.
Nothing tore me up more
than when the snow started to pile up on me
or when the fire started leaping at me atop my mountain.
It was at first ideal with perfect views
but then I saw the sunrise
and knew something was wrong.
My little wants had grown into selfish needs
and my skin glowed with too much of everything.
So I gave it all away.
Every little part of me,
I handed off to someone else
with hopes of new worlds.
Starting with my heart,
I gave it to my mom
then I prayed that it would give me selfless grace.
I gave my little greed to my big brother
in hopes that he’d clean it up
and turn into into something beautiful.
I gave my hatred to my older sister
in prayer that she could
:iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 2 5
Sunshine by ArzanianJoy Sunshine :iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 1 3
Passing Away
It feels so right to say goodbye.
It once often felt like a nightmare.
But now I dream of my permanent goodbye.
The goodbye that will mean the end of my fever;
the end of my pointless battles.
such a healthy way to express your wish to die
such an unhappy ending to a relationship.
I once spoke of my depression as a nuisance,
an irritation.
Yet I know feel as though I'm relieved to have this burning sensation tickling my throat,
scorching my heart and smoking my eyes to tears.
It feels to breathtaking.
To have this fever inside me,
I feel alive.
I'm burning up in grief.
I'm wishing to slip through the cracks.
No one notices.
No one cares.
Alas, I still love.
My heart is open to everyone and everything.
My little shrivel of a beating heart still beats for you;
you, you, you and you,
all of you.
I'll watch myself drown in tears as I sink to the bottom of a lake
with a heavy weight attached to my ankle.
I'll watch myself burn at a stake
so I can know of my crimes.
I've committed
:iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 3 1
My new kittie by ArzanianJoy My new kittie :iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 2 6
Amandine Assignment One
Amandine's long hair was pulled back into a ponytail, her pale skin left untouched. Her birthmark on her lower lip covered up with a pale pink lipstick but due to her own styling tastes, she choose to leave her upper lip paper white. Her horns/sensors were pulled into the netherworld so only those with a high sense of magical creatures could see them. Her wings were neglected in the netherworld until she needed them.
Instead of her white gown like dress, she shifted to a white skirt that fell from her hips down to her ankles, trailing the ground. Only her high heeled boots kept it from dragging the ground by too much. A white turtleneck shirt covered her upper body as well as her arms, fitting snug and complimenting her figure quite nicely. On top of that, Amandine wore a black and white jacket that cut off halfway.
Amandine's eyes however were hidden behind a pair of black sunglasses that were stark. They did a good job of making her unrecognizable as well. One small group of hair was
:iconarzanianjoy:ArzanianJoy 2 2

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Reflections on Romans 13:8
Romans 13:8
"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law."
God's law is based on loving others.  Loving others - like my family and friends, my next door neighbor (what's her name anyway?), my friend's children (even though they are brats), the lady down the street (even though she is strange and does not look or dress like me), the cashier at the checkout (even though he coughed on my credit card), the man I love (even though he left me for another woman), my boss (even though he gave the promotion to someone else), my coworkers (even though they talk behind my back), the teen who went into a school yard and started firing a gun and his father who owned the gun and did not secure it, the man that just got arrested for sexually abusing children in the daycare center across town... God loves us all. Love as God loves.
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My Dilemma

Journal Entry: Sat Jan 11, 2014, 4:06 PM
Your Title - version 2.0


Oh man, it's been forever...

And I have to say, my motivation has just been pure crap lately. 

If some of you have noticed, I'm doing a little trimming on who I watch, mostly because I feel even more overwhelmed when there's a zillion deviations in my inbox when I do come online. It doesn't mean I don't love your art any less, I am just way over my head right now.

I've been thinking about creating a new account and forwarding all of my closer friends to it instead. I'm sorry for the constant lack of appearance, I just have no motivation to do anything.

And I can't seem to get back into ArzanianJoy's life style... I'm not the same as I used to be... and I can't force myself into it being who I'm not, I guess that's why I can't seem to make a steady comeback.

If I decide to make this account go on break, I will more than likely take down a few deviations to transfer to the new account... but I will let you all know, that much I can be sure of.

I feel bad, though, this account has seen me through a lot. It's seen me through so many times of crisis, so much heartache, emotional breakdowns. I feel like I'd be leaving behind so much of who I am... but maybe it's time to make a new start.

I'm still not sure what I'm going to do just yet... but I will try to keep my journal updated with my decisions, though it's starting to look even more alluring with each sentence I type.

I thank those of you who will read this, and I would appreciate your input. I will not deactivate this account. It's too much apart of me to do that, but I can't seem to bear this oppression.

TheEffortOfRoleplay's ownership will be transferred to the new account if I made one. Hopefully I'd be able to keep it alive...

Thanks again,
~ Joy


ArzanianJoy's Profile Picture
Artist | Student | Literature
United States
:spotlight-left: Me :spotlight-right:
So it’s been a while, but I’m still here. I’m always willing to chat if you need me.

:spotlight-left: My dA family :spotlight-right:
Majordex12 is my husband, no lie. TyetheHybrid is my brother, though… YamiToMangaka is my big sister. Starry-Midnight is my little sister, mostly called Princess. DeathofCookie is my kitten. Hawkpath-tail is my best buddy and I could even think of her as another sister.


Add a Comment:
DiamonEyes Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2016
HAPPY (early) BIRTHDAY!! :party::stereo::dance::boogie::alien::iconllamadanceplz::icondancingplz::iconmoonwalkplz::icontrolldanceplz::icondancekittyplz:
DiamonEyes Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
We share the same Birthday!! PARTY HARD!!!!
DiamonEyes Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2013
Merry Christmas!!! :iconevilsantaplz:
oonacorn Featured By Owner May 30, 2013
Hello! I'm here to inform you that your join request to #Outsider-Insider has unfortunately expired and as such we are no longer able to accept it. The deviation in question was "Outsider-Insider: Phoenix Song." We hope you will consider resubmitting after you have made any specified changes. Thank you for your time and your interest!
ArzanianJoy Featured By Owner May 30, 2013  Student Writer
Yes. I know. ^^
I would just like to inform the admins at #Outsider-Insider that I was extremely upset with the response =Six-Penn gave of my character sheet. While she hit on a couple good points, she made a ton of unnecessary comments that left me livid and defensive. I was not happy with how she spoke to me. Not at all.

And I asked quite a few questions that I have yet to hear the answers of. She simply ignored my response to her? I do not know. I will say that I attempted to be calm and explanatory in my response to her, however, if this is the treatment I will receive from the Admins, I will have to say I am sorry. I cannot join a group like that.

I made mistakes, do not get me wrong, I do see what I did incorrect. She made some very derogatory comments of my character that were simply unneeded, and she also indirectly attacked my writing style.

That is all.

I do love O-I but there are some things I cannot change. I will redo her when I can find the time. My schedule has gotten fairly busy and I have a few side projects I'm working on, and planning for my upcoming vacation. So I will see what I can do another time.

Thank you for letting me know of the expiration. :)
oonacorn Featured By Owner May 30, 2013
Your feedback is much appreciated. We're sorry that you will not be resubmitting in the near future and look forwards to your future participation.
danktat Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Professional Artist
Thanks for faving sitting three on the flower tattoo :-)
ArzanianJoy Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Student Writer
No problemo~
danktat Featured By Owner May 29, 2013  Professional Artist
DeathofCookie Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Student Writer
Wonderful LoveBug.
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